mark twain advice to little girls

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ADVICE TO LITTLE GIRLS 
 
 
 
Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for 
every trifling offense.  This retaliation should only be resorted 
to under peculiarly aggravated circumstances. 
 
If you have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with sawdust, while one 
of your more fortunate little playmates has a costly China one, 
you should treat her with a show of kindness nevertheless.  
And you ought not to attempt to make a forcible swap with her unless 
your conscience would justify you in it, and you know you are able 
to do it. 
 
You ought never to take your little brother's "chewing-gum" away 
from him by main force; it is better to rope him in with the promise 
of the first two dollars and a half you find floating down the 
river on a grindstone.  In the artless simplicity natural to this 
time of life, he will regard it as a perfectly fair transaction.  
In all ages of the world this eminently plausible fiction has lured 
the obtuse infant to financial ruin and disaster. 
 
If at any time you find it necessary to correct your brother, 
do not correct him with mud--never, on any account, throw mud at him, 
because it will spoil his clothes.  It is better to scald him a little, 
for then you obtain desirable results.  You secure his immediate 
attention to the lessons you are inculcating, and at the same time 
your hot water will have a tendency to move impurities from his person, 
and possibly the skin, in spots. 
 
If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply 
that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate 
that you will do as she bids you, and then afterward act quietly 
in the matter according to the dictates of your best judgment. 
 
You should ever bear in mind that it is to your kind parents that you 
are indebted for your food, and for the privilege of staying home 
from school when you let on that you are sick.  Therefore you ought 
to respect their little prejudices, and humor their little whims, 
and put up with their little foibles until they get to crowding you 
too much. 
 
Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged.  
You ought never to "sass" old people unless they "sass" you first.

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